A man fell into a pit and couldn't get himself out.

A subjective person came along and said, "I feel for you down there."

An objective person came along and said, "It's logical that someone would fall down there."

A Christian Scientist came along and said, "You only think you're in the pit."

A Pharisee said, "Only bad people fall into a pit."

Confucius said, "If you would have listened to me you wouldn't be in that pit."

Buddha said, "You're pit is only a state of mind."

A realist said, "That's a pit."

A scientist calculated the pressure necessary, pounds and square inches, to get him out of the pit.

A geologist told him to appreciate and study the rock strata.

An evolutionist said, "You are a rejected mutant destined to be removed from the evolutionary cycle, in other words he is going to die in the pit so he can't produce any more pit falling offspring."

The country inspector said, "Did you have a permit to dig that pit?"

A professor gave him a lecture on the elementary principles of the pit.

A self-pitying person said, "You haven't seen anything until you've seen my pit."

An optimist said, "Things could get worse."

A pessimist said, "Things are going to get worse."

Jesus saw the man in the pit, took him by the hand and lifted him out.

• Added: January 26, 2000
• Source: Read by Robert H. Schuller on the Hour of Power, Collected through the God-Mind discussion forum

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