Customer: I'm not very technical, but I just received LOVE and think I
am ready to install now. What do I do first?
CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your
HEART ma'am?
Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several programs running right
now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?
Customer: Let me see... I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE
and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PAST HURT.EXE from
your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory,
but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually
overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE.
However, you have to completely turn of GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM.
Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn
those off ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke
FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE
and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing it's self
automatically. Is that normal?
CS Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will
reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You
need to begin connecting to other HEART'S in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops... I have an error message already. What should I do?
CS Rep: What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL
COMPONENTS." What does that mean?
CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the
LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been
run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things,
but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine
before it can "LOVE" others.
Customer: So what should I do?
CS Rep: Can you find the directory called SELF-ACCEPTANCE?
Customer: Yes, I have it.
CS Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them
to the MYHEART directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT,
REALIZEWORTH.TXT and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any
conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you
need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your
recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes
back.
Customer: Got it Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files.
SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that
WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are coping themselves all
over my HEART!
CS Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to
handle it from here. One more thing before I go...
Customer: Yes?
CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules
to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and
they will return some really neat modules back to you.