There are friends with a little "f" and friends with a big "F". The first
is a large group with sloppy admission standards, the other an elite,
time-tested crew.
A little "f" friend: identifies themselves when they call.
A big "F" Friend: doesn't have to.
A little "f" friend: opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on their life.
A big "F" friend: says, "What's new with you?"
A little "f" friend: thinks the problems you whine about are recent.
A big "F" friend: says, "You've been whining about the same thing for 14 years. Get off
your duff and do something about it."
A little "f" friend: has never seen you cry.
A big "F" friend: has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A little "f" friend: doesn't know your parent's first names.
A big "F" friend: has your parent's phone numbers in they're address book.
A little "f" friend: knows almost nothing about your family.
A big "F" friend: knows the medical history, dietary habits and marital troubles of everyone on your tree.
A little "f" friend: brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A big "F" friend: comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A little "f" friend: calls you at 10 p.m. just to chat.
A big "F" friend: knows you hate to be called after 9 p.m.
A little "f" friend: wonders about your romantic history.
A big "F" friend: could blackmail you with it.
A little "f" friend: when visiting, they act like a guest.
A big "F" friend: when visiting, they open your refrigerator, put they're feet on
the sofa, talks back to your spouse and reprimands your children.
A little "f" friend: thinks the friendship is over when you argue.
A big "F" friend: knows that a friendship's not a friendship until you've had a fight.
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